OTRO DE LEANDRE

A continuación de este chiste hay otro en inglés que no tiene traducción que tenga sentido, pero si alguien se atreve con él en Inglés, es bueno.

Un zoológico en Newcastle adquiere una especie rara de gorila. En pocas semanas el gorila, una hembra, se vuelve muy difícil de manejar.

Después de examinarla, el veterinario explica el problema. La gorila está en celo, y lo que es peor no hay ningún gorila macho disponible.

Dándole vueltas a cómo solucionar el problema, el director del zoo piensa en Geordie Elliot, un tipo del lugar trabajador a tiempo parcial, responsable de la limpieza de las jaulas.

Geordie, como muchos hombres en Newcastle, piensa que tiene una extraordinaria capacidad para dar satisfacción a cualquier hembra. El director cree que esa podía ser la solución y le hace una propuesta a Geordie. ¿Estaría dispuesto a hacerle el amor a la gorila por 600 Euros?.

Geordie no se niega, pero dice que tiene que pensarlo con cuidado. Al día siguiente dice que acepta con cuatro condiciones:

1.- “Primea” dice Geordie, “que no me beche en la boca”. El director acepta enseguida esta condición.

2.- “Chegunda”, dice “nadie che debe enterá”, el director acepta sin problemas.

3.- “Techera” dice Geordie, “quiego que si nache crio chea hincha del  Nuwcastle

United Football Club”, aceptado sin problemas.

4.- “Y la útima”, dice, “me tié que dá ar meno una chemana pa’ conchegui los 600”.

 

A GEORDIE TO THE RESCUE

A zoo in Newcastle acquired a very rare species of gorilla. Within a

few weeks the gorilla, a female, became very difficult to handle.

Upon examination, the veterinarian determined the problem. The gorilla

was in season and to make matters worse, there was no male gorilla

available.

Thinking about their problem, the Zoo Keeper thought of Geordie

Elliott, a local lad & part-time worker responsible for cleaning the

animal cages.

Geordie, like many Newcastle men, felt he had ample ability to satisfy

any female. The Zoo Keeper thought they might have a solution so

Geordie was approached with a proposition. Would he be willing to mate

with the gorilla for £500?

Geordie showed some interest, but said he would have to think the

matter over carefully. The following day, he announced that he would

accept their offer, but only under four conditions:

  1. «Forst», Geordie said, «Nee kissin’ on the lips.» The Keeper

quickly agreed to this condition.

  1. «Secund», he said, «Ye cannit nivva tell neebody aboot this.» The

Keeper again readily agreed to this condition.

  1. «Thord», Geordie said, «Ah want aall the bairns raised as Nuwcastle

United Football Club fans.» Once again it was agreed.

  1. «And last of all», Geordie stated, «You gotta givvus another week to come up with the £500»

 

An Australian Poetry Competition held in the Sydney Opera House had

come down to two finalists;

  1. A)  A university graduate.
  2. B)  An old aboriginal.

They were given a word, and then allowed two minutes to study the word

and come up with a short four line poem that contained the word.

The word they were given was ‘ TIMBUKTU ‘.

First to recite his poem was the university graduate.  He stepped to

the microphone and said:

Slowly across the desert sand,

Trekked a lonely caravan

Men on camels, two by two

Destination – Timbuktu

The crowd went crazy !.  No way could the old aboriginal top that,

they thought

The old aboriginal calmly made his way to the microphone and recited;

Me and Tim a huntin’ went

Met three whores in a pop up tent

They were three, and we were two

So I bucked one, and Timbuktu ..

The aboriginal won.

Esta entrada fue publicada en Chistes. Guarda el enlace permanente.

Deja una respuesta

Introduce tus datos o haz clic en un icono para iniciar sesión:

Logo de WordPress.com

Estás comentando usando tu cuenta de WordPress.com. Salir /  Cambiar )

Imagen de Twitter

Estás comentando usando tu cuenta de Twitter. Salir /  Cambiar )

Foto de Facebook

Estás comentando usando tu cuenta de Facebook. Salir /  Cambiar )

Conectando a %s